Simple Self-Care Habits

The words "self-care" are all too familiar these days.

It is something we are encouraged to practice in order to find balance in life. Something we are told we deserve after a days' work. We may find social media posts and images of someone relaxing, treating themselves to a spa day or enjoying a movie and a glass of wine. #selfcare

What does it really mean to care for yourself though? What if you can't afford a day at the spa, if you have children who demand your time and attention, or you just don't seem to be able to turn off your busy mind when you finally have "me-time"? Sometimes we seem to mistake the relaxing effect of a glass of alcohol or an entertaining movie, as a form of self-care; possibly assuming that self-care means it must be something I, the self, enjoys, something to break from the mundane.

While the things listed above surely feel nice and can be a form of relaxation, I propose that self-care does not, for one, need to be a lavish, expensive or intensive, experience , nor should it have to be something we wait for at the end of a stressful day or week.

Caring for yourself begins with something so seemingly small: your thoughts! The way you think, determines how you feel; those feelings in turn affect further thoughts and lead to actions. If you wait until you have some time for yourself, more often than. not, you may feel so mentally exhausted that it will be hard to quiet your mind and truly care for yourself the way you need to.

This is not to say that you shouldn't try to find ways to do something soothing. By all means, take a bath, have a cold glass of water, go for a walk, write in your journal, talk to a friend, watch a light-hearted movie, observe a painting, take a pottery class, work out, stretch, take deep breaths!

But in addition to these things, and ideally before you do those things, make an effort and do to the work, to break through old patterns you keep finding yourself in. Think about what you are thinking about! Notice when your heart rate starts to rise. Don't wait until after work to deal with it. Take a deep breath then and there. Recognize your habits to detach emotionally, or to dive into the sense of melancholy (depending on your personality type), when it occurs.

Begin by developing your self awareness and being more present in this very moment, so you can actually feel the warm water around you when you take that bath; so you can savor the cool water running down your throat when you enjoy a drink; so you can feel your feet on the ground, sense the texture of the leaves on the trees, experience the air filling your lungs.

Practice being alone in solitude, silence and stillness. Depending on your personality type one of these will be most effective and important for you as you aim to grow. We all however must practice to embrace and engage in actually being alone, still and silent; beyond just relaxing or "doing nothing". For some of us it is easy to sit back and do less, but our minds may still be racing, as we detach from deeply feeling and actually working through the pain and stress. For others, it may be hard to sit still, or to be away from other people. They may need to learn how to be alone and present with themselves. Often, what makes us uncomfortable, may be an indicator of something we need to learn to do.

It all begins by grounding yourself here and now. Care for yourself. Truly care! Love yourself enough to live life to the fullest, here and now!